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Synopsis : More Shit My Dad Says written by Justin Halpern, published by Pan Macmillan which was released on 2013-06-06. Download More Shit My Dad Says Books now! Available in PDF, EPUB, Mobi Format. ' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. -- ‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times
Type: BOOK - Published: 2013-06-06 - Publisher: Pan Macmillan
‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times
Type: BOOK - Published: 2010-06-04 - Publisher: Pan Macmillan
'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says... ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’
Type: BOOK - Published: 2010-08-01 - Publisher: Boxtree
The international bestseller and Twitter sensation: a brilliant new comic voice, and a 100% real father-son relationship that lies somewhere between Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Wonder Years... "At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me..." Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern's philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is 'like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair'; and this is the sort of shit he says... "You know, sometimes it's nice having you around. But now ain't one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we're not watching this bullshit." "Happy Birthday, I didn't get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then, too - unless it's shitty."
Type: BOOK - Published: 2010-05-04 - Publisher: Harper Collins
“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.
A child's relationship with her father is more important than we've ever realized. To become strong and confident, children need their father's attention, wisdom, courage, and protection.Why is finding gifts for your dad so hard? Are you looking for a unique, personalized, make your own gift for your dad? If you're stuck on what to get, stop struggling. Here we are.You can gift a dream diary, a journal for reflective writing. Product Description: Measurements: 6×9 inches Page count:80 Material: Premium Quality PaperType: Paperback More useful than a card Soft matte cover for a luxurious feel Lined pages
Type: BOOK - Published: 2015-05-01 - Publisher: Hachette UK
Eight years ago, Sandy ran away from home, and has done her best never to look back. Now, the best part of her day is a morning visit from Max, a handsome and successful businessman, who's always ready with a smile. So when he suddenly disappears from her life, Sandy is worried. What has happened to him? And why did he act so strangely the last time they spoke? As Sandy tries to track Max down, she begins to realise how little she really knows about him - his family, his job, or why his life has started to fall apart. And when she finds him, she comes to understand that they have more in common than she'd ever thought possible. Will they learn to trust each other with the secrets they've kept hidden, and finally move on?
Type: BOOK - Published: 2014-09-16 - Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Shattered A child brutalized, a family destroyed, a community wounded... but the story doesn't end there. “Stop being a victim. There's total healing- physical, emotional, and most importantly spiritual, for you in Jesus Christ.”
Type: BOOK - Published: 2022-02-15 - Publisher: AuthorHouse
Prior to the mid-sixties, Grayville, TN was one of twenty-four “sundown towns.” A “sundown town” was a town that had a sign on the outskirts of town that said, “Negros are not allowed in the city limits after sundown.” Very few blacks lived in Grayville. Grayville High School seldom had black students. In August of 2020, a black doctor moved to Grayville. He moved from Weston, Ohio to be near his adopting white parents who lived in the Homeland Retirement Center in Pleasant Hill. Grayville never had a black basketball player, now it has three. The doctor has three sons. Joseph is a 6’ 9” senior and his twin brothers, Samuel and David both 6’ 6” juniors. The three brothers took Weston to the Ohio State basketball championship. Cox County youth grew up to have a “culturally absorbed prejudice.” That is what the three black players encountered.
Type: BOOK - Published: 2012-05-15 - Publisher: Harper Collins
In I Suck at Girls, the enhanced e-book edition, Justin's famously opinionated father goes on camera for the first time, offering life advice on topics from marriage to profanity and debating the appeal of pornography in seven exclusive videos. Justin's father also tells his version of raising Justin with an essay written in prose as hilarious and poignant as his son's. In addition the enhanced e-book features nine exclusive photos from Justin's childhood. "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today. Please note that due to the large file size of these special features this enhanced e-book may take longer to download then a standard e-book.
Do you want to document all the crazy things your dad says? Or looking for the ultimate father's day gift? That is why we created this Shit My Dad Says Father's Day Notebook: Remind Your Father How Great He Is With This Journal Log blank college ruled notebook - your dad will be rolling on the floor laughing when you whip this bad boy out! This modern and useful 6 x 9 inch (15.24 x 22.86 cm) blank journal tracker notebook has been specially hand-designed for every kind of father, from fulltime joker to passive aggressive. Each page is a chance to really stand out, document those million dollar quotations from daddy and grow your bond with your dad and whole family. The perfect companion for you when are out for dinner, camping trip, road trip, or even at home watching TV with the fam. Who knows the next crazy thing that will come out of your father's mouth next?! How does this father's quote notebook work? You can preview the layout in the "look inside" button at the top - but it is pretty practical and what blank. It can be used for years to crank out amazing content from the funny quotes your dad says on the holiday gatherings to remember again and again. Take out this father's day quote book on his special day Birthday parties are also good times to remind dad of some of the shit he has said Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any holiday gathering are perfect times to document what he has been saying. How does that sound? Using a daddy's quote notebook journal is a great way to ensure that each day you are writing, finding out when is the best time to have your pen out ready to quote him, and have a bit of fun too! See how many quotes you can crank out in one sitting and enjoy the results of more creative output from your dad and you with this fun little notebook. Who Is This Father's Day Journal For? Great gift for a dad to take to the office. Sure will get a lot of questions when he takes out the notebook Coaches too, they can enjoy the gags with this during training or game day. Kids can use this as evidence when their dad makes a promise you want to document! So what are you waiting for? Grab this practical and useful father's day notebook today and start generating quotes from him more in a systematized way. Creating just a little bit more output each day will yield amazing results, and a journal like this is your ticket to continuous laughs and good times - make it happen!
Type: BOOK - Published: 2012-01-23 - Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Would the world be a better place if women were in charge? Heads of state and world leaders are now women, they have changed the world to be how they want it to be. With women in charge they have stopped the days of mail order brides, now we live in a world of rental husbands. We live in a world where men are secondary, used for whatever women want. Men are trained to be whatever their owner wants them to be: enforcer, worker, bodyguard or personal slave. Sold into slavery when he was a baby, Scott Magentas life is to be seen not heard, to be touched but never loved. His life is filled with death and pain while he is forced to be nothing but a glorified one night stand for the rich and powerful. Slaves are treated like show animals, they make their owner money and if they misbehave they can be punished by their owner. When the whole world doesnt see you as a person how can you be one?
Type: BOOK - Published: 2017-06-01 - Publisher: Evening Street Press
Now What? is a collection of 10 short stories by Franz Weinschenk – Some are historically significant; some sad; some funny; some enlightening; all entertaining. They Are “Accentuate the Positive”: And what do you suppose happens when the college gets accredited by professors like Dr. Lafcadia Weltgeist? “Homecoming”: You wonder, “Now What?” as the Nazi-brownshirt searches for you and your mother who are hiding in a closet. “Just Another Day At The Office”: With the storm raging full force and the electricity off all over campus, how are you going to get those two students out of that in-between floors stuck elevator? “Memories of Brooklyn”: When first coming to America, they lived in Brooklyn. Wonderful memories – Dewey Junior High, yo-yo's, handball, Red Barber and the Brooklyn Dodgers, sewing shoulder pads, not to forget the girls jumping rope: “Lulu had a baby- She named him Tiny Tim- Put him in a . . . . pot, to teach him how to swim.” “Norm”: Nobody works harder or longer than Norm as he tells us what he thinks go into making “a really good man.” “Madera”: The family decides to move from New York to Madera, California, so that Father can have a bookkeeping job at $80 a month and a house for his family to live in free. “The Marimba Band”: “Now What?” when there is a ton of opposition to a tiny one-unit class for students who want to play in a marimba band? “If Music Be The Food Of Love, Play On” says William Shakespeare. But if, while you and your fellow musicians are playing, the family that lives right above you lowers a Nazi flag so that the huge swastika in its center is right in the middle of your front window, “Now What?” “Chris” is an art teacher already very much against the war in Vietnam. One night, he has his students launch balloons with anti-war propaganda on them. And that upsets just about everybody. “Become a 'Late Bloomer' Like It Says in the Brochure”: Paul, who's been a severe stutterer for 36 years, takes Mr. Purcell's English class and gets so mad at him, that for the first time in his whole life, he starts talking.